Melody Lowman is available to assist individuals and families with the process of selecting a pre-school, public or private elementary school or high school. She also assists in the challenging process of college selection and the application process.
Melody can work with families and schools to solve learning or behavior problems within the child’s current school. She can assist families in identifying enrichment programs that will be supportive of the students’ interests and exploration.
Melody can also assist families seeking remediation resources for students who are falling behind or have learning problems. Melody is especially interested in gifted and twice-exceptional students. She is a member of National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC), SENG, The Gifted Network and the California Association for Gifted Children (CAG). She has worked with gifted and twice-exceptional students since 1964.
Melody is interested in working with students from other countries and cultures. She is one of the founding parents of a thriving internationally-oriented K-8 Montessori school in California.
As a fencer, fencing mother and fencing grandmother, and member of USFA, she is familiar with the fencing programs in United States colleges and universities, from Division I to Club fencing. She is Safe Sport Certified and a member of the Positive Coaching Alliance. Melody can guide the young fencer and family through planning, searching and applying processes. (She does NO recruiting and does not represent any specific program) See the Advancing Toward College website page.
If she is not an appropriate resource for your family, she will assist you with a referral to an alternative consultant.
HELP YOUR CHILD BE READY FOR KINDERGARTEN
Help your child develop the following large motor skills: Hopping, jumping, skipping, walking around things on the floor without stepping on them, hanging from a climbing structure for a few seconds, climbing up onto a bed, walking up and down stairs one foot at a time, pedals a tricycle, throwing a ball, catching a ball, getting onto and off a swing, beginning to “pump” and not just be pushed.
Help your child develop the following small motor skills: Holding a crayon, marker or pencil with fingers (not fist), cutting with scissors, lacing cards with holes, writing letters in name, pasting. Your child should be able to copy a circle and an X when asked.
Help your child learn to take care of him-or herself: Using the toilet without help, unless ill, putting on and taking off a sweater or jacket, putting on and taking off socks and shoes, eating food using fork and spoon, drinking from a regular cup or glass, using a tissue, and throwing it into the trash, beginning to brush teeth, asking before touching something that belongs to someone else, and verbally asking a caregiver/teacher for help.
Help your child be ready verbally: By the time children enter kindergarten they need to be able to speak clearly enough so that other children can understand them. They also need to be able to speak clearly enough so that non-family member adults can understand them.
- Children need to be able to give his or her name when asked.
- They need to respond to their name. They need to be able to call other children by name.
- Children need to be able to ask another child to play, and ask for a turn on the swing, or with a toy.
- They need to be able to say “Please don’t throw sand at me” or the like.
- They need to be able to name most common objects in their home and school environment, by the correct name.
- Children need to be able to ask a teacher for help (tying a shoe, or getting a toy down from a shelf, or solving a problem with another child).
- Children should be able to use words to identify major emotions: happy, sad, angry, scared, confused.
- They need to be able to ask to go to the bathroom, using language that a teacher could understand. (Cute words are fine at home but teachers won’t necessarily know the expressions.)
- They need to be able to answer simple questions about a story that has just been read to them.
Help your child be ready socially: There is a great deal of overlap between language readiness for kindergarten and social readiness for kindergarten. Children need to be able to solve social problems with words and ask for help in kindergarten.
- Additionally, Children need to be able to initiate play with others:
- “Do you want to ride in my boat?”
- Children need to be able to use language to take turns:
- “You can be the captain now, and then I will.”
- Children need to be able to report a problem to a teacher:
- “I hurt my finger.”
- Children should be able to use and respond to simple greetings: good morning, good-bye, see you tomorrow.
- Children should be able to ask the “W” questions:
- “Who has the ball?”
- “Where is the bathroom?”
- “When is mommy coming back?”
- “What is that big thing across the street?”
- “Why can’t I run in the hallway?”
- Children should be able to able to listen to a series of two to three requests:
- “Please take your book and go sit on the rug.”
Help your child be ready intellectually: This is a long list, but ideally you have been working on it since your child was a baby.
- Your child should be able to look at objects and identify big and little, big, bigger and biggest, small, smaller and smallest, long and short, high and low, hot and cold. Ideally, make this a fun game.
- Your child should be able to point to and name: red, yellow, blue, orange, green, purple, black and white.
- Your child should be able to match colors, objects and shapes, perhaps by playing a child’s lotto game.
- Your child should be able to point to a circle and a square when asked, maybe while you play with chalk.
- Your child should be able to recite to 10 and count objects up to 10.
- Your child should be able to point to objects in a picture book: “Where is the mouse hiding on this page?”
- Can turn pages of a book without tearing.
- Can name the letters of the alphabet when you point to them.
- If your child can, begin to introduce the sound that the letter makes.
- Can name up to 10 zoo animals and 10 farm animals. If you can, go to a zoo or a farm park; if not, look for picture books with photographs, not cartoon drawings.
- Can repeat a sentence of 6-8 words. “Today, we are going to the park.”
- Can recognize his or her own printed name, even better can begin to write it.
- Can listen to a story or book for 5 or more minutes (Questions and comments allowed, and welcomed!)
- Can identify a day activity and a night activity (Go to school; Go to bed)
- Knows his or her own birthday, and how old he or she is, with words, not just fingers.
- Demonstrates the following correctly: up, down, in, out, front, back, on, under, top, middle, bottom, beside/next to, hot, cold, fast, slow
- Can complete a simple puzzle. (I like Lauri foam rubber puzzles; they are washable and the company replaces missing pieces)
- Can draw a simple figure that resembles what he or she names: “It’s a dog!”
- Has an attention span of 5 minutes of doing what you want and 15 minutes of doing what he or she wants.
Wait a minute, you might say, I thought that these are the things that children learned in Kindergarten! You are right, they used to be. Kindergartens now generally expect children to have most of these skills before they begin kindergarten. Children who have not developed many of these skills might not be ready for Kindergarten and would do better and be happier in a Young 5’s, a Pre-K, or a Transitional Kindergarten. Parents should not “drill” their children on these skills but rather use the pre-school years to integrate these skills into daily family life. Parents should also make sure that either daycare or preschool is helping their child develop these skills.
HELPING AN ANXIOUS STUDENT
Behavior driven by anxiety can look like willful misbehavior. The important and useful thing to keep in mind is that the anxious child is afraid. He or she is going to misperceive ambiguous interpersonal interactions or unexpected situations as dangerous. When a child experiences a situation as dangerous this can lead to misbehavior, which at least in part, is driven by the sense that he or she must escape or protect him- or herself. Consider the following suggestions for an anxious child.
- Positively reenforce compliant behavior.
- Identify situations which typically lead to anxiety and noncompliance.
- Try to recognize early warning signs of anxiety such as physical agitation.
- Give the child an opportunity to leave the classroom by using a secret signal you and the child have agreed upon.
- Discreetly offer the child reminders to try to relax muscles, breathe out slowly or use other techniques he or she has learned.
- Minimize attention for minor misbehavior.
- The student will be most successful in structured, predictable situations.
- The student will be most successful working alone or with one other student.
- Start the day with a warm greeting. Reassure occasionally with a smile or gesture.
- Agree on a “secret signal” to remind the student to compose him- or herself.
- When possible, try to warn the student of unusual upcoming events, such as fire drills or teacher absences.
- Get the student’s attention before delivering short, direct instructions.
- Quiet, slow speech can reduce anxiety.
- When possible give directions in both verbal and written form.
- If the student is overwhelmed by the size of assignments break them into smaller pieces.
- After the student calms down after an incident the student should be asked what led to the problem, and what could have been done instead.
- The teacher and student should target specific behavior for improvement. The behavior should be positively reenforced each day, part day or hour until it becomes habit.
- Identify the student’s strengths and provide opportunities to demonstrate them.
- Offer the student opportunities to help the teacher or librarian if the student enjoys those tasks.
- Get consultation from the school psychologist or by reading about children and anxiety.
Melody M. Lowman, M.A. 